This morning was just like any other. Well, Mondays are always a little more hectic than most as that’s when I’m prepping things for the week. But still, this Monday was no exception except for the fact that I realized this is the LAST week before my baby starts two-year-old preschool. Just typing this makes me want to tear up because I’m really torn here. Part of me is really excited for her as I know she is going to have an absolute blast and learn so much. Harper is so outgoing, very intelligent, and loves exploring new places and meeting new friends. Bottom line-I know she’ll thrive.
I’m also excited that this will give me a few hours, two days a week, to do whatever I’d like. So, that’s a great thing, too. After all, we don’t have any family in town so it’s not like I can just drop off H with her Gigi if I need a break. I’d have to find a babysitter during the day, which isn’t always the easiest. In fact, I’ve never done it, because our babysitters are in school during the day.
The part of me that’s struggling is the part that thinks, “You don’t have to send her to school yet, Linds. Nobody is rushing this. Keep her with you as long as possible.” Believe me, there are plenty of days (those days that drag on and on because of tantrums and nothing seems to go as planned) where I’d be the first one at the preschool shouting from the rooftops, “sign my child up, she’s ready.” Luckily, those days are far fewer than the amazing days we get to spend together.
This morning was a prime example. It was time for us to get out of our jammies and get ready for the day so I carried H up the stairs to her room. Once we got to her room, we sat down on her rug and I cradled her in my arms. At that moment, while she was in those footie pajamas, her curly brown hair a mess, and sucking her fingers, I wept. There she was, snuggled in my arms, her head nestling on my chin and us rocking back and forth. She was my baby and there was nowhere else I wanted to be in that moment than with her. It was then I realized she’s going to be leaving me two mornings a week starting in just seven short days. I pray that this is the right decision for us… but, part of me still wonders.
If you mommies have any advice on letting go of your baby at this stage, I’m all ears. I tend to not do well with change and this is the first major change for us since birth.
How do you let go?